This is the third time I have attempted to write this blog post and I don’t know where to start.
*insert sounds of frustration, here*
I tend to be either goal oriented or completely ambivalent when it comes to dealing with people. If I’m goal oriented, chances are I find this person worthwhile and the kind of human I want in my world. If I’m ambivalent?-chances are I think of you like kale chips. Interesting conceptually, but not necessary.
So. I was goal oriented with New Guy. I knew in broad strokes what I wanted and where it was going. Cool.
And then shit didn’t add up. Why was I uncertain? Why do words and actions not tally up? Wait. Pull back. Let’s independently assess this.
I’ve come to this ugly conclusion that I am more invested in this than New Guy. New Guy appears, despite his words to the contrary, to want to take things slow – so slow that where I thought being in love meant we were somewhere in the same chapter,it seems he is stuck on the cover page.
He wants to be friends with benefits and not something more structured.
So! I retract my earlier status. I am not in a relationship. I just spend time with someone I want to spend more time bedding.
We’re moving from goal to kale chips real fast.